Modesty: Post Two

"Any Biblical discussion of modesty begins by addressing the heart, not the hemline."
-C.J. Mahaney.

I couldn't agree more with C.J. Modesty does being with the attitude of the heart within the woman. He also goes on to define modesty as: propriety; the avoidance of clothing and adornment that is extravagant, showy and sexually enticing.

I believe a humble heart comes before modest dress. Thus, immodesty is a form of arrogance. We are arrogant when we say we don't care how it impacts the men that cross our path, but only our desire to remain fashionably "in". Modesty, in general, protects our brothers in Christ from temptation and sin. We are certainly not to identify with our sinful, worldly culture through our dress. We are, after all, to be IN this world and not OF this world. We are to be distinct from the culture in many ways...among them, our dress. If we think about it, our apparel is a public statement of our heart. What is my wardrobe communicating? What is yours?

Earlier, I mentioned 1 Timothy 2:9-10. Through reading and such, I have learned that Paul is warning woman from dressing and adorning themselves like the culture of the time...the Roman court and the Prostitutes. Context is important here. "Women should adorn themselves in respectable apparel, with modesty and self-control, not with braided hair and gold or pearls or costly attire, but with what is proper for women who profess godliness—with good works."
So I don't believe it is necessarily the pearls or the braided hair, but the motivation and the heart behind it. During this time, ostentatious jewelry and braided hear was associated with both vanity and prostitution.

In regard to some of the many comments from the first Modesty post...

I am one who is 100% behind personal responsibility in the Christian life. I believe this modesty discussion is one largely on the shoulders of women. HOWEVER, there IS a place for the husbands and fathers of the women in their life to encourage them when they dress modestly and to hold them accountable when they dress immodestly. If my words in anyway disregarded the supreme importance of woman holding personal responsibility over themselves, then I was unclear. But I see that the body of Christ has dropped the ball in graciously speaking truth and demonstrating Godly care and courage. There is a difference between condemnation and imposing versus giving kind observation and allowing the Holy Spirit to then convict and carry out the good work.
Fathers are to lead their daughters in this issue of modesty. Daughters are to submit. However, much of the time that doesn't occur and the woman is now 20 years old and largely clueless about her impact upon the people in their life.
There is of course, always room for growth. We need to ask ourselves questions. We need to not only trust our own evaluation, but your friends and husband if you have one.

The other issue that arises is self-righteous judgement over those who are not Christian or those who are but newly so.

Lastly, and on a lighter note...I do believe that it is possible to not be fashionably outdated and to be modest. Basically, Modesty and Fashion are not mutually exclusive. It just takes a little extra work and it certainly cannot become our focus.

In 1 Timothy, 2:9-19, Paul insists that more time be focused on spiritual matters then the apparel for the women. Why? Ultimately, because of the gospel. Again, C.J. Mahaney brings this into perspective. Paul teaches every topic in relation to the gospel. As we should. I began with a quote from Mr. Mahaney, and I will end this post with a quote by him, "Modesty and dress and women characterized by good works are the impact of the gospel. That is the transforming power of the gospel."

Health Update for Today

Hello again friend and family!
I am writing to let you know what is going on lately with my health.
Things seem to be very up and down health-wise. Some hours I will feel ok, others I will be unable to leave my bed due to sheer exhaustion or headaches.
I have been reading up on Chronic Fatigue Syndrome and it seems that everyone who has this has gone through the months of unknowing...of test after test coming back normal. Because this is a sickness that can only be diagnosed by process of elimination. I've also learned that CFS manifests itself in different ways to different people on different days. What I mean is...yesterday I was feel the exhaustion and weakness, today I have a terrible sore throat and swollen glands.
Now, I say all this because I want those in my life to understand what it's like on a daily basis. I don't want pity of course, but prayers. Most days, I don't even pray for healing anymore. I need to. In all honestly, a lot of days I am doing OK...focused on what I am thankful for and trusting in the Lord. But every few weeks, there is a dark cloud of hopelessness and being so weary from being weary. Thankfully, it seems to not last more than a day.
Anyway, I have to go back to bed...
I will be getting more into the Modesty Posts as soon as I feel up to it a bit.
Oh! And this friday I have another Doctor appt. with another specialist. I am hoping that there will be some sort of answer to all this.


Kate

I would just like to add a special thanks for my amazing husband, Jeremy. This is not an easy thing for us to bare as newlyweds...but you have never complained and you are so loving and encouraging. THANK YOU for your support and care! You are certainly glorifying the Lord through this and ministering to your wife. :) I love you so much.

Modesty: Post One

There is a chill in the air that reminds us fall is here and winter is just a few weeks away... it also provides a reason for the girls and women of our culture to bundle up! I have heard several men communicate their dislike for spring and summer simply because of the clothing (or lack of) that women wear.
Just yesterday, a good friend of mine shared that her husband feels that very same way. Walking through a college campus is like a painful test for every man. Eyes to the sidewalk until you get to class. Girls in bikini's all throughout campus is typical. Spending a summer in California only made ME aware of it that much more.
As women, we are inundated with magazines, commercials, TV shows, movies and peers that portray fashion and pressure us to imitate that fashion. Walk through the mall for 5 minutes and it is clear: baring skin is in. It is HARD not to fall into this ... and to imitate the culture that surrounds us.
When Jeremy and I got engaged, I had to personally struggle with modesty. As I went looking for wedding dresses, it became difficult to find a dress that was not strapless or too tight or designed in a way that brought attention to my female figure. I ended up adding capped sleeves to my bridal gown in an attempt to bring more modesty to it. After all, I wouldn't wear strapless shirts any other day of the year, why would I on my wedding day? Around the time I was searching for a wedding dress, Albert Mohler, President of Southern Seminary in Louisville aired a radio show about Weddings and Modesty. I encourage you to listen to it.
Now, I am not saying the standard I felt called to for my wedding or for everyday life is the end all, be all...but I do want to raise this issue. Some items that are perfectly modest on a friends body, may not be the case for myself and vise-versa.
It makes me sick when I see little girls... just 6 or 7 years old, wearing clothing that reveals their stomach or mini skirts and heals! This is now an issue not just for women, but for little girls and the parents that allow, and yes, even encourage, them to wear these things! Most of you that read this blog are not parents yet, but we need to start thinking of these issues now. The easy thing to do is to allow your kids to wear whatever they want... to be their friend and not their parent... but is that what the Lord calls us to do? I think not.
Well, I could ramble on for a long time about this... but this is just the beginning post....I will continue to post on this topic in the next week. There are many people, much wiser than myself who have great insight and advice regarding modesty. I hope to include some of their thoughts in coming posts.
Until then, I will leave you with this verse:

Women should adorn themselves in respectable apparel, with modesty and self-control, not with braided hair and gold or pearls or costly attire, but with what is proper for women who profess godliness—with good works.
-1 Timothy 2:9-10.

Love in Christ, Kate

UPDATE:
To listen to the aforementioned radio program about Weddings and Modesty, please go here:
http://www.albertmohler.com/radio_show.php?cdate=2006-05-16

Back from the Woman's Retreat!

I was blessed to be able to go on the Women's Retreat this weekend in Green Lake, WI.

I was very hesitant to go at first due to the cost and the fact that I am not working right now. Also, I am supposed to travel as little as possible...but from the kindness of the church, the financial aspect was taken care of and I was assured it was VERY relaxing. This was very different from any other retreat or conference I have gone to. In the past, there are hundreds of us, going from 8am to midnight with sessions and activities. This was JUST what I needed. It was SUCH a restful, wonderful time with 15 other women from the church! I was the youngest so in a way I had 15 mothers to make sure I didn't overdo it! :)


It was such a wonderful time of friendship, fellowship and reflection! This conference center was INCREDIBLE and just really displayed God's majesty ...from the lake, to the trees.


We stayed in an old Mansion that looks right out to the lake! Here is a picture:

We had this entire place to ourselves... it has 22 rooms! Including enough beds for 20 people and 6 bathrooms, a gorgeous living room with a grand fireplace and a huge dining room table to fit all of us! I will write more in the next few days of some of the lessons learned during this time. Stay tuned! :)

Thank you to anyone who read this... I appreciate your prayers, your love and for reading this boring old blog. :)

In Christ Alone, Kate

Being Real Part 3: Our attempt to answer a great question.

The following question was asked a few days from the original post on "Being Real":
How would you recommend starting down the path of 'being real'? For someone who has been so hurt, time and time again, even the attempt at trust is like peeling the scab off of a wound that has barely healed. Any scripture/books you would recommend?
from kate:
Three things come to mind immediately. Before we even begin "down the path of being real", we have to stand upon some basics …
1. It is always by God’s grace that we are able to be real. It is our natural disposition as humans to be prideful and want to conceal the truth, to put on a facade, etc. So to begin, we must simply pray for His grace to enable us to be stripped of any need to impress others or camouflage our pain, hurt, etc. I too have been hurt, time and time again in very real, deep ways and am only able to be real because of Him. If it were on my shoulders, I would never share my heart with another human again. Thank God it isn’t.
2.I believe the first step is to forgive those that have hurt you. How can one move on to trust others when there is still unforgiveness submerged within the spirit and soul? Of course, forgiveness can be VERY difficult. This is an entirely different topic and post for another day.
3. Sometimes, we wait until we feel no more pain from our past hurts and wounds before we are willing to trust others. Sooner or later, we discover that the pain never COMPLETELY heals and thus waiting until we are healed is simply unwise. I do not believe we will be entirely whole and healed until we reach heaven. But, God is gracious enough to heal us in profound and deep ways. Actually, great healing can take place IN and WHILE trusting others and being real. It takes discernment, however, to know who is trustworthy…but that comes with time. We can take our time in friendships, and allow the Spirit to guide us as to when and where and how much to share with another.
Lastly, another final note ...while i have not read this book personally, I've heard it is an incredible, healing book that is VERY biblical. It's called Women Helping Women by Elyse Fitzpatrick. You can find it on ebay or amazon.
It's Jeremy here. I have a few other ideas on how to be real.
4. You need to have a firm grasp on scripture, so that you know, that no matter what, your actions fall in line with Christ. Knowing what scripture says, and trusting and holding to that more than you trust and hold onto others opinions of you, is key to being real. Instead of worrying what others think of you, put your faith and hope into what God thinks of you, and how he has redeemed you. The more you study the Bible and keep its precious truths in your heart, the easier it is to allow yourself to open up to others, being indifferent of the consequences towards you.
5. This should go without saying, but you need to forever keep your eyes focused on Christ. After what he has done for you, dying on a cross and enduring unbearable pain, we should be able to endure pain by being real about our lives with others. I truly believe that if you look to Christ for your identity and satisfaction, instead of to others, "being real" will not be a struggle, but it would come naturally.

Thank you for that question and keep them coming as it challenges us to think deeper. I hope that the above was of some help in some way.

A Guest Post!

My dear friend Abby has agreed to allow me to post some of her thoughts regarding "being real". I thought they were insightful and would be beneficial to share on here!

Perhaps it is due to our American culture that many people find it a struggle to be genuine or “real” with one another. I have discovered, and especially while I was in college, that many of us feel the need to portray a facade to the general public that they have everything under control and that life is dandy. I attended St. Olaf College in Northfield, Minnesota (the town of cows, colleges, and contentment!), which was a highly positive experience for me. The student body, as a whole, was highly ambitious, extremely intelligent, and involved in numerous extracurricular activities, whether it be music, sports, volunteer commitments, Christian organizations, and so forth. Because the average student was talented, smart, and/or beautiful, I think everyone felt the pressure to DO everything and make it appear that this was normal and easy to do!
I am sure that I am not alone in the experience I had while in college. My guess is that others have stumbled across similar situations in other educational or occupational settings. Society today teaches us that we need to excel, get ahead, and hide any appearance of weakness or fear that lies within. Ultimately, this is human pride that is getting in the way of being real with one another.
Over time, God has humbled me much in this area and a certain, small book in the Old Testament, Obadiah, was what made this most clear to me. Obadiah was a prophet from Judah who announced the coming judgement of the Lord against the nation of Edom. He fortells,
“Behold, I will make you small among the nations; You shall be greatly despised. The pride of your heart has deceived you, you who dwell in the clefts of the rock, whose habitation is high; you who say in your heart, ‘Who will bring me down to the ground? Though you ascend as high as the eagle, and though you set your nest among the stars, from there I will bring you down, says the Lord.” (v. 2-4)
Edom held pride in their safety as a city, their wealth, self-sufficiency, allies, and wisdom. As the book of Proverbs also warns, pride is a sure route to destruction, and that is exactly what happened to the nation of Edom.
Although many of us struggle with pride, learning to be genuine with each other is one way to avoid pride and instead put on humility. This is one function of the body of Christ, to mourn with each other, be joyful with each other, pray with each other, and meet the specific needs each may have. This is impossible, or at least highly difficult, with an attitude that is reluctant to be open with others.
The Church could thrive to a greater degree by fostering a community of openness: by forming small group or Bible Studies, by encouraging accountability among its members, and in general practicing the example Jesus set for us in loving one another. And as we strive to become more like our Savior, the words of this song by Helen Lemmel will be reflected in our lives:
Turn your eyes upon Jesus
Look full in His wonderful face
And the things of earth will grow strangely dim
In the Light of his glory and grace.

Health Update

Hello friends and family! I have received a few calls and e-mails from people asking for an update in the health situation.
This week is my official last week of work before my break of a couple months of not working at all. While this is challenging in some aspects, we know it is what has to be done given the worsening of my health and because of several Doctor's highly advising it.
Yesterday I had a spinal tap. It was pretty scary and a painful but God gave strength to endure. In 7 business days, we will find out the results of the tests.
We hope that there is something we are able to treat is found, rather than the no answers that have resulted from dozens of blood tests and the MRI's. We are very thankful however, that we have ruled out tumors, MS, Lupus and other conditions.
Through your prayers, encouragement and love, I have been encouraged lately. I am not losing hope and am trying to trust Him daily.
Next is another specialist on October 19th.
I will let you know if I here anything as far as results. Please contintue to pray for God's peace and provision.
Thank you for your continued love and support.

In Christ's love, Kate