I was having a terrible morning today. The pain was aweful and the exhaustion acute. I was so ill, I was unable to attend church- something that I greatly look forward to each Sunday. Partly because truth is spoken to me and my eyes are lifted up to Him- and partly because of the wonderful fellowship and support that I experience there. I cried hard. I felt so alone, so overwhelmed and thoughts of desperation, of hopelessness consumed me...thinking, I cannot possibly endure this day-in and day-out. I eventually fell into a deep sleep and awoke with a better sense of knowing that through God's grace, I CAN endure- but still dwelling on what I do not have, what I cannot do or what I miss out on due to the chronic illnesses...
Because I had missed church, I wanted to listen to a sermon. I somehow ended up a the Girl Talk Blog...if you haven't been there before- I highly encourage it. Before I knew it, I was listening to the 55 minute talk from a woman named Rachel. Rachel Barkey has been diagnosed with terminal cancer. Rachel is a wife, a mother of two young children, and she is not expected to live to see her 38th birthday. Several weeks ago, Rachel shared a message with a group of women entitled “Death is Not Dying: A Faith that Saves.”
As I listened...I felt tears well up in my eyes- this time not because I was feeling sorry for myself, questioning God, or focusing on my feelings and circumstances- but because I see the beautiful and transforming power of the Lord in a women with a circumstance exponentially more difficult than my own. I nearly passed by this talk of hers- but I am so glad that I did not- it was some of the best moments I have ever spent. I ask that you would take that time... do it while your folding clothes, paying bills, or washing dishes- just give 55 minutes of this day to listen to what life (and death) really is.

Living to bring Him glory by enjoying Him forever,

Kate