I was having a terrible morning today. The pain was aweful and the exhaustion acute. I was so ill, I was unable to attend church- something that I greatly look forward to each Sunday. Partly because truth is spoken to me and my eyes are lifted up to Him- and partly because of the wonderful fellowship and support that I experience there. I cried hard. I felt so alone, so overwhelmed and thoughts of desperation, of hopelessness consumed me...thinking, I cannot possibly endure this day-in and day-out. I eventually fell into a deep sleep and awoke with a better sense of knowing that through God's grace, I CAN endure- but still dwelling on what I do not have, what I cannot do or what I miss out on due to the chronic illnesses...
Because I had missed church, I wanted to listen to a sermon. I somehow ended up a the Girl Talk Blog...if you haven't been there before- I highly encourage it. Before I knew it, I was listening to the 55 minute talk from a woman named Rachel. Rachel Barkey has been diagnosed with terminal cancer. Rachel is a wife, a mother of two young children, and she is not expected to live to see her 38th birthday. Several weeks ago, Rachel shared a message with a group of women entitled “Death is Not Dying: A Faith that Saves.”
As I listened...I felt tears well up in my eyes- this time not because I was feeling sorry for myself, questioning God, or focusing on my feelings and circumstances- but because I see the beautiful and transforming power of the Lord in a women with a circumstance exponentially more difficult than my own. I nearly passed by this talk of hers- but I am so glad that I did not- it was some of the best moments I have ever spent. I ask that you would take that time... do it while your folding clothes, paying bills, or washing dishes- just give 55 minutes of this day to listen to what life (and death) really is.
Living to bring Him glory by enjoying Him forever,
Kate
Sunday, May 24, 2009
Wednesday, April 8, 2009
it is well with my soul
As I sit down to write an over-due update…the sun is just beginning to rise and illuminate the beauty that is the Lord’s creation. Moments like these are precious. Life seems to quiet and your heart seems to still long enough to experience a great sense of peace. With the overwhelming turn of events in the last few months, I am grateful for right now. Because it has been so long, I thought it would be easier to summarize the changes in life over the past several weeks.
- At the end of February, I was involved in a car accident in which the guy who rear-ended me fled the scene. I am still feeling the effects of that day on my back and neck but am trusting I will begin to feel better soon.
- After seeing a Rheumatologist and ruling out other medical conditions, I have been diagnosed with Rheumatoid Arthritis. This explains my severe joint swelling and pain as well as my constant fevers and fatigue. It is a blessing in one sense because we now know what we face…it’s no longer an ambiguous monster, but a disease we can learn about and target head-on.
- Largely due to my medical conditions, we made the decision (at the recommendation of my Doctors) to quit my job as Office Manager at the Chiropractic & Massage Center. Yesterday was my last day and I am now going to turn my focus to Kate Wenzel Photography and taking care of myself medically. This way, I can decide my own hours, take rests when I need to and listen to my body when it screams it is crashing. I hope and pray this will lead to some improvement physically.
- We have found a WONDERFUL Church! The Lord has provided (in His perfect timing, as always), an incredible body of believers that have truly strengthened and encouraged me. The woman of the church have helped in practical ways such as coming to help clean our house every few weeks and providing meals throughout the week of the car accident. Once again, God has shown His amazing faithfulness through His people. We are forever thankful for these new and cherished friends. In addition to this example of working as a body, the teaching is solid and doctrine is held fast. Praise God for bringing us to Glory of Christ church!
- In other news, Jeremy has continued to be quite busy. He is currently an Assistant Coach for Track and was also given the opportunity to teach an extra class after school. Although these things consume his time and energy- they are blessings and he seems to truly enjoy all of it. I am so blessed to have such a hard-working husband. I know he is greatly looking to his upcoming Spring Break and now even more so with his whole family flying in to visit us for Easter weekend!
So as I look forward to the coming months- I am experiencing a sense of anticipation and yes, fear. I am excited to have time to focus on getting the rest, eating the diet and doing the limited exercise that may help me as I cope with RA. I am excited to continue to grow my business and blessed by the fact I have booked many clients for May and June. I am looking forward to understanding all my medical options and selecting the best course. I am learning to be thankful for the small things- like the days when it doesn’t hurt to breathe and the sun is shining, or when my joints feel well and my fatigue lessened enough to enjoy a walk with my husband and puppy. And a good life truly consists of responding to adversities with hopefulness and a clinging to all that is true- not the absence of suffering. Without Christ as my rock and refuge- all of this would be insurmountable. Thankfully, I am His and His grace sustains me.
Thank you for your continued prayers and love, Kate
- At the end of February, I was involved in a car accident in which the guy who rear-ended me fled the scene. I am still feeling the effects of that day on my back and neck but am trusting I will begin to feel better soon.
- After seeing a Rheumatologist and ruling out other medical conditions, I have been diagnosed with Rheumatoid Arthritis. This explains my severe joint swelling and pain as well as my constant fevers and fatigue. It is a blessing in one sense because we now know what we face…it’s no longer an ambiguous monster, but a disease we can learn about and target head-on.
- Largely due to my medical conditions, we made the decision (at the recommendation of my Doctors) to quit my job as Office Manager at the Chiropractic & Massage Center. Yesterday was my last day and I am now going to turn my focus to Kate Wenzel Photography and taking care of myself medically. This way, I can decide my own hours, take rests when I need to and listen to my body when it screams it is crashing. I hope and pray this will lead to some improvement physically.
- We have found a WONDERFUL Church! The Lord has provided (in His perfect timing, as always), an incredible body of believers that have truly strengthened and encouraged me. The woman of the church have helped in practical ways such as coming to help clean our house every few weeks and providing meals throughout the week of the car accident. Once again, God has shown His amazing faithfulness through His people. We are forever thankful for these new and cherished friends. In addition to this example of working as a body, the teaching is solid and doctrine is held fast. Praise God for bringing us to Glory of Christ church!
- In other news, Jeremy has continued to be quite busy. He is currently an Assistant Coach for Track and was also given the opportunity to teach an extra class after school. Although these things consume his time and energy- they are blessings and he seems to truly enjoy all of it. I am so blessed to have such a hard-working husband. I know he is greatly looking to his upcoming Spring Break and now even more so with his whole family flying in to visit us for Easter weekend!
So as I look forward to the coming months- I am experiencing a sense of anticipation and yes, fear. I am excited to have time to focus on getting the rest, eating the diet and doing the limited exercise that may help me as I cope with RA. I am excited to continue to grow my business and blessed by the fact I have booked many clients for May and June. I am looking forward to understanding all my medical options and selecting the best course. I am learning to be thankful for the small things- like the days when it doesn’t hurt to breathe and the sun is shining, or when my joints feel well and my fatigue lessened enough to enjoy a walk with my husband and puppy. And a good life truly consists of responding to adversities with hopefulness and a clinging to all that is true- not the absence of suffering. Without Christ as my rock and refuge- all of this would be insurmountable. Thankfully, I am His and His grace sustains me.
Thank you for your continued prayers and love, Kate
Tuesday, February 10, 2009
Blessings
I don't have time to write long- but I did just want to say that this weekend was an amazing one of fellowship and being spiriturally restored! We've updated our prayers and praises to the right so please check them out! Also, we believe we are getting closer to finding out more specifically what health issues I am facing! Praise God for that!
Thank you for your continued prayers and love!
Three times I pleaded with the Lord about this, that it should leave me. But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me. For the sake of Christ, then, I am content with weaknesses, insults, hardships, persecutions, and calamities. For when I am weak, then I am strong. - 2 Corinthians
Thank you for your continued prayers and love!
Three times I pleaded with the Lord about this, that it should leave me. But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me. For the sake of Christ, then, I am content with weaknesses, insults, hardships, persecutions, and calamities. For when I am weak, then I am strong. - 2 Corinthians
Sunday, January 4, 2009
God's Megaphone?
I have been reading Elisabeth Elliot’s book entitled Loneliness with a dear friend of mine and several points have really struck me… maybe because of my personal relation to them, or maybe because of the truth they speak- or perhaps both! In the beginning of the book she opens with this, “…as I began to learn about suffering I learned that trusting in those strong arms means that even our suffering is under control. We are not doomed to meaninglessness. A loving Purpose is behind it all, a great tenderness even in the fierceness.”
What beautiful words. What true comfort… to know that while we experience suffering, and we will- because a life with Christ doesn’t exclude suffering but always INCLUDES it- but that while we walk through the valleys, we can take heart in KNOWING that there is a divine purpose in this season. To know that although life feels like utter chaos, there is order in that it is in His sovereign hand. And as I read on, I came to a sentence that I believe God was speaking directly to me. “But a pure faith would be worth far more to God than all the service she had hoped to render if poor health had not interrupted her plans.” It was as if this sentence was written to my soul. It meets me right where I currently am. I so long to serve God in very real ways- short term missions, seminary, woman’s and children’s ministry, ministry to those who are poverty-stricken, foster care, dinners for my husband after a long day of work for both of us, and the list goes on. These are things God has so imparted in my heart- given me such a passion for…and yet I am so incredibly limited in my physical abilities. I find my sinful nature rears its ugly and too-familiar head and I begin to think thoughts that bring no glory to Him. Thoughts of why has he imparted these passions within me if I cannot act on them while so many healthy individuals could care less and yet have all the health to minister in those ways. But I catch myself sometimes and know that asking “why” is pointless- not to mention sinful because it means that I am not trusting His perfect wisdom and purpose. It means I am starting to believe the tempting lie that I know better than my Lord, Creator and King. It is a grievous error- one that I must rest upon His grace and mercy for. And then I read these words from one of my favorite woman authors…words that pierce right to the core of my questions and aching heart. All of those endeavors of servant hood should be done for one reason: to bring glory to my Lord and to please Him alone. And to know, to realize that a pure faith, an intimate relationship that magnifies Who He is… THAT pleases Him more- THAT is the ultimate aim. I am able to do this. I am able to go through the fire of what I consider suffering on a small level compared to the millions who agonize through far worse- and come out with a faith tested and purer than before. If this illness purges the parts of me to allow room for Him to make His home, for Him to be seen, then this sickness in itself is a beautiful ministry- full of purpose and servanthood. Now, unfortunately, I don’t always have this perspective- this “big picture” wisdom. No, unfortunately, I battle real thoughts of anger, frustration, uncertainty and feelings of purposeless and unbelief. But I am thankful that those situations give me the opportunity to turn back to scripture for guidance and truth. I am keenly aware of my feebleness, of my failures, and am constantly humbled by the limitations the illness puts on me and my lack of graciously reacting to these limitations. But I know that He meets me here. He meets me in these times. He knows the WHYs and the Ifs… I praise Him for the reality that His faithfulness is completely unrelated to my own. What a good God we serve. And C.S. Lewis brings a great summation to all of this for me…the man was big on free will which isn’t great but he has a lot of wise and true statements as well… after all, he was human and we tend to miss the mark sometimes, don’t we? Anyway, Clive puts it eloquently:
“Pain is God’s megaphone. He whispers to us in our joys, speaks to us in our conscience and shouts to us in our pain.” While God’s tone and “loudness” most likely remains consistent, we so often are ready to listen while in pain and suffering. The world and its offerings are stripped from us, leaving us with that still, quiet voice that belongs to our LORD.
Are you listening?
Love in Christ, always, Kate
Ps: Even in writing this the Lord gave me a great realization… something that prods at me from time to time but I seem to forget or ignore far too easily; I may not be able to DO some of the ministry I long to, but oh I can PRAY for those that can! I can do that in bed, with no energy to move but only the ability to offer up weak yet sincere prayers to the God of all things. I have long wanted to grow in my prayer-life and perhaps this is the vehicle to start on that. Any thoughts on how you’ve grown in your own prayer disciplines would be wonderful!
What beautiful words. What true comfort… to know that while we experience suffering, and we will- because a life with Christ doesn’t exclude suffering but always INCLUDES it- but that while we walk through the valleys, we can take heart in KNOWING that there is a divine purpose in this season. To know that although life feels like utter chaos, there is order in that it is in His sovereign hand. And as I read on, I came to a sentence that I believe God was speaking directly to me. “But a pure faith would be worth far more to God than all the service she had hoped to render if poor health had not interrupted her plans.” It was as if this sentence was written to my soul. It meets me right where I currently am. I so long to serve God in very real ways- short term missions, seminary, woman’s and children’s ministry, ministry to those who are poverty-stricken, foster care, dinners for my husband after a long day of work for both of us, and the list goes on. These are things God has so imparted in my heart- given me such a passion for…and yet I am so incredibly limited in my physical abilities. I find my sinful nature rears its ugly and too-familiar head and I begin to think thoughts that bring no glory to Him. Thoughts of why has he imparted these passions within me if I cannot act on them while so many healthy individuals could care less and yet have all the health to minister in those ways. But I catch myself sometimes and know that asking “why” is pointless- not to mention sinful because it means that I am not trusting His perfect wisdom and purpose. It means I am starting to believe the tempting lie that I know better than my Lord, Creator and King. It is a grievous error- one that I must rest upon His grace and mercy for. And then I read these words from one of my favorite woman authors…words that pierce right to the core of my questions and aching heart. All of those endeavors of servant hood should be done for one reason: to bring glory to my Lord and to please Him alone. And to know, to realize that a pure faith, an intimate relationship that magnifies Who He is… THAT pleases Him more- THAT is the ultimate aim. I am able to do this. I am able to go through the fire of what I consider suffering on a small level compared to the millions who agonize through far worse- and come out with a faith tested and purer than before. If this illness purges the parts of me to allow room for Him to make His home, for Him to be seen, then this sickness in itself is a beautiful ministry- full of purpose and servanthood. Now, unfortunately, I don’t always have this perspective- this “big picture” wisdom. No, unfortunately, I battle real thoughts of anger, frustration, uncertainty and feelings of purposeless and unbelief. But I am thankful that those situations give me the opportunity to turn back to scripture for guidance and truth. I am keenly aware of my feebleness, of my failures, and am constantly humbled by the limitations the illness puts on me and my lack of graciously reacting to these limitations. But I know that He meets me here. He meets me in these times. He knows the WHYs and the Ifs… I praise Him for the reality that His faithfulness is completely unrelated to my own. What a good God we serve. And C.S. Lewis brings a great summation to all of this for me…the man was big on free will which isn’t great but he has a lot of wise and true statements as well… after all, he was human and we tend to miss the mark sometimes, don’t we? Anyway, Clive puts it eloquently:
“Pain is God’s megaphone. He whispers to us in our joys, speaks to us in our conscience and shouts to us in our pain.” While God’s tone and “loudness” most likely remains consistent, we so often are ready to listen while in pain and suffering. The world and its offerings are stripped from us, leaving us with that still, quiet voice that belongs to our LORD.
Are you listening?
Love in Christ, always, Kate
Ps: Even in writing this the Lord gave me a great realization… something that prods at me from time to time but I seem to forget or ignore far too easily; I may not be able to DO some of the ministry I long to, but oh I can PRAY for those that can! I can do that in bed, with no energy to move but only the ability to offer up weak yet sincere prayers to the God of all things. I have long wanted to grow in my prayer-life and perhaps this is the vehicle to start on that. Any thoughts on how you’ve grown in your own prayer disciplines would be wonderful!
Friday, December 19, 2008
Saturday, December 13, 2008
Friday, December 12, 2008
Thanksgiving and such...
Well, I figured it had been a while since we've posted an update or anything. Like most of you, we have been very busy celebrating and getting ready for the holidays! Over Thanksgiving, we were able to go to visit Jeremy's family in Milwaukee for a long weekend. During this time, we celebrated thanksgiving, Christmas and our beautiful niece Emily's 1st birthday!~ Needless to say, it was a packed weekend. :) It was wonderful for us to spend time with family and talk, play games, etc. Unfortunately, I had a serious relapse of my chronic fatigue and it left me in bed for over 24 hours. Thankfully, I have since made improvements. I am learning more and more what my limitations are and sometimes I certainly push myself more than the illness will allow... and that's when i "crash". Overall, it was a lovely time.
Since then we have been working, enjoying actually having time with one another due to the Volleyball season being over for Jeremy and visiting a few more churches. We have narrowed it down to two churches...one in Anoka and one in Elk River. We want to attend each one a few more times before we make our decision but I do believe the doctrine is sound and the preaching good at either one.
My Designs by Kate business has obviously slowed down quite a bit as a result of me not having an indoor studio currently. However, without pursuing any sessions, I have had two people contact me and just completed one session today in Plymouth and will be doing a sports session later this month. I was also privileged to speak in several Economics classes about Entrepreneurship and enjoyed that experience greatly!
I wanted to say another thank you to everyone who prayed for us during the theft situation. Things are finally pretty much all wrapped up regarding the money being refunded, etc. There are no leads as to catching the suspects but I have forgiven and am trying to regain a general sense of security. The whole circumstance was one I wouldn't wish anyone to go through but know that it is unfortunately fairly common.
In all, we are starting to adjust to our new jobs, home, and city... and looking forward to a few days off during Christmas and New Years to spend with family. I'll post a few pics of the weekend at the wenzel's over thanksgiving! More to come later....
Love in Christ and Happy Holidays,
J & K
Owen in his sweater that I bought him for $2 at Target b/c it was hilarious. He wore it for all of about 3 hours. :) Now it's a chew toy.
Jeremy w/ Emily: (this pictures makes my heart melt!)
Since then we have been working, enjoying actually having time with one another due to the Volleyball season being over for Jeremy and visiting a few more churches. We have narrowed it down to two churches...one in Anoka and one in Elk River. We want to attend each one a few more times before we make our decision but I do believe the doctrine is sound and the preaching good at either one.
My Designs by Kate business has obviously slowed down quite a bit as a result of me not having an indoor studio currently. However, without pursuing any sessions, I have had two people contact me and just completed one session today in Plymouth and will be doing a sports session later this month. I was also privileged to speak in several Economics classes about Entrepreneurship and enjoyed that experience greatly!
I wanted to say another thank you to everyone who prayed for us during the theft situation. Things are finally pretty much all wrapped up regarding the money being refunded, etc. There are no leads as to catching the suspects but I have forgiven and am trying to regain a general sense of security. The whole circumstance was one I wouldn't wish anyone to go through but know that it is unfortunately fairly common.
In all, we are starting to adjust to our new jobs, home, and city... and looking forward to a few days off during Christmas and New Years to spend with family. I'll post a few pics of the weekend at the wenzel's over thanksgiving! More to come later....
Love in Christ and Happy Holidays,
J & K
Owen in his sweater that I bought him for $2 at Target b/c it was hilarious. He wore it for all of about 3 hours. :) Now it's a chew toy.
Jeremy w/ Emily: (this pictures makes my heart melt!)
Is she not adorable? :)
Bathtime!
Emily opening gifts:
Emily and Kate:
Siblings: :)
the girls!
The whole gang...
Bathtime!
Emily opening gifts:
Emily and Kate:
Siblings: :)
the girls!
The whole gang...
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