There is a chill in the air that reminds us fall is here and winter is just a few weeks away... it also provides a reason for the girls and women of our culture to bundle up! I have heard several men communicate their dislike for spring and summer simply because of the clothing (or lack of) that women wear.
Just yesterday, a good friend of mine shared that her husband feels that very same way. Walking through a college campus is like a painful test for every man. Eyes to the sidewalk until you get to class. Girls in bikini's all throughout campus is typical. Spending a summer in California only made ME aware of it that much more.
As women, we are inundated with magazines, commercials, TV shows, movies and peers that portray fashion and pressure us to imitate that fashion. Walk through the mall for 5 minutes and it is clear: baring skin is in. It is HARD not to fall into this ... and to imitate the culture that surrounds us.
When Jeremy and I got engaged, I had to personally struggle with modesty. As I went looking for wedding dresses, it became difficult to find a dress that was not strapless or too tight or designed in a way that brought attention to my female figure. I ended up adding capped sleeves to my bridal gown in an attempt to bring more modesty to it. After all, I wouldn't wear strapless shirts any other day of the year, why would I on my wedding day? Around the time I was searching for a wedding dress, Albert Mohler, President of Southern Seminary in Louisville aired a radio show about Weddings and Modesty. I encourage you to listen to it.
Now, I am not saying the standard I felt called to for my wedding or for everyday life is the end all, be all...but I do want to raise this issue. Some items that are perfectly modest on a friends body, may not be the case for myself and vise-versa.
It makes me sick when I see little girls... just 6 or 7 years old, wearing clothing that reveals their stomach or mini skirts and heals! This is now an issue not just for women, but for little girls and the parents that allow, and yes, even encourage, them to wear these things! Most of you that read this blog are not parents yet, but we need to start thinking of these issues now. The easy thing to do is to allow your kids to wear whatever they want... to be their friend and not their parent... but is that what the Lord calls us to do? I think not.
Well, I could ramble on for a long time about this... but this is just the beginning post....I will continue to post on this topic in the next week. There are many people, much wiser than myself who have great insight and advice regarding modesty. I hope to include some of their thoughts in coming posts.
Until then, I will leave you with this verse:
Women should adorn themselves in respectable apparel, with modesty and self-control, not with braided hair and gold or pearls or costly attire, but with what is proper for women who profess godliness—with good works.
-1 Timothy 2:9-10.
Love in Christ, Kate
UPDATE:
To listen to the aforementioned radio program about Weddings and Modesty, please go here:
http://www.albertmohler.com/radio_show.php?cdate=2006-05-16
9 comments:
Modesty is an interesting topic. I have found, especially after being married, that I treasure modesty (for my wife) so much more than I did when I was single. After all, her body is mine and I don't wish to share one square inch of it with anyone else; except for maybe her eyes...she has pretty eyes. But seriously, as husbands *we* need to be very guarded what we condone our wives to wear (and dads should feel the same way about their daughters). We should seek to protect the purity of our loved ones and this includes being sure that they don't dress in a way that causes others to stumble or in a way that doesn't leave much for the imagination.
Grace.
I agree with Mr. Borg.
This topic also brings about much discussion because modesty elicits responses of liberty or legalism to address it. How, for instance, do women dress to glorify the Lord and still look "classy" and "current" without drawing attention to herself? Should we have some guidelines? When do those guidelines error on the side of legalism? How do we know when to much is to much being "revealed"? Is it right to impose our standards on someone else? How can we address it with a friend and not be judgemental? Some questions for thought.
Excellent questions and thoughts... I hope to explore some of those in the coming week.
I know I appreciate men, who, like my husband, seek to protect the purity of our loved ones.
How do you as men, hold those woman in your lives accountable?
Just curious.
Kate
Good questions. To comment about legalism and dress (modesty specifically), legalism addresses the outward form but not the inward heart. Conformation to external laws and guidelines can only go so far. What is key is the inward motivation for a person dressing the way they do - both immodestly and modestly. Until that motive is pure, until that motive recognizes that dress can cause another to stumble and sin, only then will the heart submit to the point of dressing not for the world or for man but dressing for the glory of the Lord. At that point there would be the desire to not be conformed by the world and with God's grace, the strength to withstand the pressures of the world to dress what is currently popular.
Also, I think there is the lie that is being bought by many young gals that modesty equates frumpy. I have known many ladies who dress elegantly and stylishly. Their husbands do an amazing job of lifting them up as women and affirming them as women of God. Therefore, they do not have to seek out approval from others (specifically other men) to be affirmed as women. Hats off to all those gals out there who desire to live a life of holiness in the form of modesty.
Holding one another accountable is a good thing. I think accountability has its place and in some situations is absolutely essential in the Christian life.
I would have to take issue with wives expecting their husbands to hold them accountable for their dress. In a sense, it is a cop-out for women. For instance, the argument could be said for some gal that "well, I'm dressing this way because my husband/boyfriend/parent didn't say anything, so it must be okay" Or taking it a step further, using this as license to dress however they want to because the husband/boyfriend/parent won't say anything because it will cause a conflict. (Of course the gal will win that argument...she will wear what she wants to wear. period).
The Christian life requires and at times demands personal responsibility. The scriptures are clear what is morally right and wrong. The scriptures are also silent on other issues. Modesty is not morally unclear. How to live out modesty in day to day living is up for debate in terms of "fashion", color, heighth of shoes,etc. But how much skin, how high the hemline or how low the cleavage line, how much flat abdomen showing, how sheer the material is not up for question.
Most gals purchase their own clothes. The question each person needs to ask BEFORE purchasing that item is this: does this glorify the Lord? Will I draw attention to myself and cause a man to sin by lusting after me? Would I be comfortable wearing this in front of an elderly gentleman and my father? If there is any hesitation, then put that item back on the rack. Simple as that. That, Kate, is personal responsibility in the Christian life.
I appreciate "anonymous'" comments, well most of them. Here's my mindset. I agree that it is a matter of the heart. Women (and men) need to learn what it is to dress for the glory of God.
So many times Christians want to question this and question that, is it okay to wear a mini skirt which is is above the knees, is it okay to wear a blouse that dips below the collar bone? Those questions are the WRONG questions. We should be asking, "Gee, how does my wearing this shirt/skirt/swimsuit glorify God? And if you aren't aware or haven't thought about that, there is more sin in what you wear then simply causing others to fall (you're not wearing your clothes in faith).
I guess I am not concerned with this issue in legalism, well legalism as my mind should define it (i'm certainly not getting a ruler out to measure my wife's skirts to be two inches below the knees). But I think A LOT of issues could be easily solved if girls (and guys) would just realize that we don't have to dress like the world. There is no Biblical mandate saying we must have the "in" clothes or the latest styles, that's just stupid. My wife should dress so as to be attractive to me, and I guarantee you she would be the cutest thing in the world bundled up in a six inch snowsuit. In my mind there is not such thing as "too modest."
I think I would echo a lot of the thoughts already mentioned in this conversation. I want to throw out some questions that I've been asking myself over the past few years regarding modesty.
How do we decide what is modest? Is it based on the reaction of males? I mean, it makes sense to me to not choose to wear something that would pose an obvious temptation to men. However, isn't it possible for a woman to be dressed appropriately and modestly and still have men lusting over her? Would what she's wearing then become immodest? That raises another question for me: Where do we draw the line between the woman's responsibility to dress modestly and the man's responsibility to discipline his eyes and his mind? Then there's the issue of applying the issues cross-culturally. Is modesty the same in America, Latin America, Africa?
Ooops. This comment just became a huge chunk of questions. Kate, I'm hoping you will hit on some of those points over the next week or so. And I hope that others participating in the conversation will help me to clarify my thoughts on modesty.
Shalom!
Dana,
If I might add two cents; I think you raise an interesting question. In regards to how do we know what is modest I would say there is not one criteria which we use to determine (the causing guys not to stumble is just one of them).
Interesting question the cross cultural, I'm inclined to think no it doesn't change because I don't think truth or morality is a cultural ideal. But I also realize that some other cultures are not as sexualized as ours are. Good question, I'm going to mull that over.
Wow! I certianly didn't expect this amount of reaction on the little beginners post! :)
Now I certainly have a lot to think about regarding this topic! :)
Thanks for the challenging thoughts and comments.
In His Grace, Kate
Post a Comment