It has been interesting weather lately- one day I'm sweating like crazy and the humidity is at 80%- the next its not even 60 degrees and I'm freezing. Profoundly deep thoughts- i know. :)
But really, it had me thinking about the changes Jeremy and I are in the midst of. We are very blessed and happy in general- but being the social person I am- I am starting to get lonely. Jeremy is very busy with school and coaching and while I have remained busy with work, house stuff, and people visiting- I'm still starting to get that subtle ache in your heart called loneliness. A friend of mine recently wrote on her blog, “when we’re lonely, it’s not the company we want but familiarity.”
When I read that- I felt like she had written what my soul wanted to express but couldn't. And it is such a true statement! I mean, I have some new friends- but it isn't the same as the people & places that became familiar and my family in the past 6 years of life. What I find as I get older is that I am not quite as resilient and adaptable as I was before. Everything was such an adventure- but now I'm in the "real world" and adventures have to slip in-between working, being a wife, taking care of a house and so on. Not that those things in and of themselves cannot be adventures- but ... well, it's different. I also see that once you're out of college- it is much harder to meet and make friends. You're not surrounded by an inundation of people your age going through many of the same things in life. You also don't have the free time and leisure to hang out for a quick lunch or meet up for a walk in a park for an afternoon. So needless to say- life changes and I need to go back to the one constant thing for comfort- God, and my relationship with Him.
One thing that will help the whole loneliness factor is finding a church. We did visit the Church plant up here and while it was nice - Jeremy and I want to try another before we go back and decide. I don't like "shopping" for a church. It is difficult because there are usually great things and not so great things about each and every church. It is difficult because you go from having friends, knowing so many people and being a part of a very close family of believers to knowing now one, being a stranger and getting accustomed to how things work. Again, it's change.
In all, I know I will be just fine. I know I have to be patient and wait on the Lord to provide a church family and to establish meaningful relationships. But sometimes I would like to skip the waiting part and get right to the good stuff. :) I guess THAT way wouldn't refine my character or challenge me to grow.
That's all for now,
Kate
2 comments:
I totally hear you on the loneliness factor. Subtract a husband and add graduate school and that's my situation. Miss you and praying for you! I love your home :)
I think it was Samuel Rutherford who once said, you are never alone but always accompanied by Father, Son and Holy Spirit.
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